Confidence as a Dominant or a man will you not find in a book tho there is a million books on how to build confidence, but fact is that confidence is built and therefore confidence is built over time.
You may have heard the phrase, “fake it til you make it,” and nothing could be more untrue when it comes to confidence. Confidence is a state of mind. Or better yet it’s a frame of mind. It’s a state that I can get myself in to. A feeling that I am capable as a Domiant and a man.
The defination of confidence acording to Quara is:
Confidence means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn’t about feeling superior to others. It’s a quiet inner knowledge that you’re capable.
I as a Dominant are using 4 steps on buliding confidence as a Dominant
1 . Knowledge and willingness to invest time in my submissive.
Building confidence starts With my willingness to learn and seek knowledge and this results in a knowhow and Knowledge builds confidence.
Confidence as a Dominant is also complex because the knowledge and the willingness to learn is built on my Investment in my submissive not only in earlier expiriences.
I as a Domiant must invest time in learing my submissive and be aibel to understand my submissive`s way of thinking.
Confidence as a Dominant is not build on skills With a whip or a flogger, nor yelling commands or give my submissive rules.
The insvestment in learing the most of how my submissive is thinking and reacting gives me as a Dominant confidence because I know as a Domiant that I am capable.
2. I Know my worth.
Self-worth refers to the value I attribute to myself as a person, this is mine values, my ethics, my moral, and mine principles as a Man and Dominant.
Leaing on my integrity will help me across situations and independent of what others think. In other words, it comes from within rather than without. By knowing my worth, I am less reliant on another’s approval.By valuing myself, I am subconsciously requesting that my submissive does the same.
I have chosen her for her worth, and she has chosen me for my worth.
2. I have shifted my thinking from: Does the submissive like me? to Do I like her ?
I mean that it is wrong to obsess over focusing on the other person to like me, I instead ask , “will she make me whole as a Dominant and as a Man? I know what I will give to my submissive, therefor I want my submissive to think the same.
Search for the Connection and try to find out eachothers: the needs, the wishes for a BDSM relationship and the goals for building such a relationship.
Finding this connection is much more productive than finding out if the submissive is as attracted to me. A connection is what makes humans human. In the end, I consider what is more important to me I can say so much : it`s not feeling popular , but rather finding the submissive I will share my life with.
By thinking this way the focus is on the connection, not who I want to be, but rather who I am.
3. I Take the initiative.
I said in a Christmas party that I feel that I have the responsibillity for my relationship.
The vanilla friend looked at me as if I was cracy.
Yes the relationship is my submissive and me, we both are equal parts in the relationship, but the responsibillity is mine as a Dominant.
This will a submissive women understand naturally and this will also match her thinking on the relationship. Many in vanilla relationships and maybe also some feel this way in the start of a BDSM relationship feel that they have to be chosen, No. I have the ability to choose. I want her that is completing me as a Dominant and Man.
I take the initiative on what I want, I have the responsibillity for the relationship and I don’t have to sit around . . .I like the initiative , I crave the initiative and I take the initiative.
4. I am not searching for perfection, I want a submissive with flaws.
I as a Domiant and man have flaws, with this in mind I want my submissive to have flaws.
I said perfection is a “dangerous” word, I say that it`s a good plan to delete it from Our vernacular altogether. Perfectionism, or compulsive attempts to attain the unattainable, is a recipe for failure and a key to unhappiness. In my search for my submissive, there is no such thing as perfect , as I know that I am not perfect myself. Love is in my mind is loving the flaws , as I want my submissive to love my flaws, Our flaws are what make us beautiful.
I want the parts that you`ve tried to throw away.
The parts that you were convinced no one ever could love.