Often discussed or viewed is the submissive understanding. More specifically, a submissive’s understanding of submission, but what about understanding Dominance – a Dominant’s understanding?
One of the greatest lessons, I as a Dominant, took to learning was my own understanding of Dominance. Specifically with relevance to due process and training – patience.
Allow me to explain.
A quality in which I do not possess is patience, I have zero. I attribute this to my Dominance as, I want what I want, when I want it. Naturally and rightfully so.
However, there exists an instance in which this quality must be acquired in order to achieve success as a Dominant – the training of a submissive.
I’m not making reference to the training of a submissive with regard to simply making requests or having her complete tasks. I’m talking about the training of a submissive overall, longterm. To mold and to have her adapt herself entirely to her Dominant.
This not only takes great focus from both parties, but most notably, time.
You may be thinking; but Eros, isn’t a submissive’s purpose to follow her Dominant’s lead in all aspects? To be ready, willing and eager to accept His will? Definitely! However, I’m making reference to thoughtless submission, that in which one needs not ask questions, sometimes, need not even be told – she knows.
Understanding Dominance is to understand this takes time; due process.
I tell you this not because there is any excuse for a submissive not to do as has been outlined, tasked or required of her, but to understand that for this to become instinctual for her, the Dominant must place a significant amount of time and focus on her – patience
What does this mean?
Understanding Dominance is to understand the submissive process; the Dominant process in providing due diligence to train one’s submissive.
In my experience, a submissive is very much in their own head. They’re eager to please and want to achieve excellence, to exceed expectation. Because of this, a submissive will often overthink, naturally so. By constant overthinking in fear of disappointing their Dominant, it clouds their mind from making calculated decisions based upon what their Dominant has stated.
Understanding Dominance is to understand that repetition, repeated practice and assurance will clear the mind to where one’s submissive knows without much thought the appropriate course of action.
Essentially, the greatest obstacle I was faced with as a Dominant was understanding due process. Considerably, as I have no patience.
In no way am I implying a Dominant should accept disobedience or unwillingness from a submissive for any reason. One’s submissive should always be ready, eager and willing. Anything less is intolerable and ‘time’ is not an excuse.
What I am saying and the lesson to be learned here is, repeated focus over an extended period will be the difference between always having to tell a submissive or achieving the submissive behaviours one desires instinctually.